I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
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