you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize