call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Randomize
