I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
