When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Randomize