I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize