He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
