After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
