bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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