you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
