My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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