Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
