well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
