yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
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