have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Randomize
