i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Randomize
