She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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