You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
