His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize