Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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