Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
