was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
