I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Randomize
