Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
