New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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