Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
