I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
