she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Randomize
