i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Randomize
