Midget sex pt 2 tonight
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
