I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
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