dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
