Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
