Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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