just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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