I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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