i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Randomize
