So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
