I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Help. Why am I so naked?
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