Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
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