Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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