i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Randomize
