Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Randomize
