WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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