You work out of a Hotel?
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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