the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
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