thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize