She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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