Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Use "feeling words"
Yay
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Randomize
