then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
I can text with my tongue
you would pick up someone in the library
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
