I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Randomize
