She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Randomize
