yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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