does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
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