those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
ugly people sure do ruin things
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Randomize
