Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
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