Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
