I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Randomize
