so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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