i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
well you can't waste a boner
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
