i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
