he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
