TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Randomize
