literally had 100 drinks last night.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
