I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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